Disastrouss Love Compeleted.t

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DISASTROUS LOVE BOOK COMPELETE 1

She finished her speech holding her waist, looking fierce and consumed by rage. "There is nothing wrong, Kulu. Titiy, someone has died in Isuhulle’s house, that is why I came to tell you." "Ah, let us go quickly so we aren’t cheated out of our rights!"

She finished her speech and headed outside, with Kulu backing her up. As they went out, they met Hafsu, and the three of them set off together to the house of the deceased.

Kandala couldn't say a word until they left. "Goodness me, today I have heard of a freakish mother. You are truly digging your own grave!" She finished her speech while holding her chin in shock.

Right from the entrance of the house, you would know a loss had occurred, judging by the people sitting outside the gate observing condolences.

Titiy led the way with the others following closely behind. Right from the entrance hall, she opened her mouth wide, wailing and crying without actual tears:

"La ilaha illallah! Oh Allah, we are dead, they have destroyed us! Ruin has found you. Oh Allah, why did death take Gwamma? Why didn't you take Abu and Isuhulle when you took their mother Gwamma and left them as orphans?"

Abu, who was sitting receiving condolences, didn't realize when she blurted out, "Well, the truth is no one goes to the grave until their time comes. Gwamma's time has come! As for me, I am not even fifty years old yet, let alone Isuhulle!"

Despite the solemn situation, laughter actually broke out among the mourners. Because before Titiy’s arrival, Abu had been crying hysterically, demanding that people hold her back, weeping and saying that death was cruel and wishing that death had taken her instead of leaving Gwamma.

Titiy found a spot and sat down, her eyes fixed entirely on a huge pot of jollof rice being lowered by two women who were about to start serving people.

With a sudden jolt, Titiy stood up and walked over. "Move aside, Larai, let me dish out the food since death hasn't taken you yet!" With trembling hands, Larai handed her the ladle and stepped aside.

She removed her hijab and handed it to Hafsu. The rice was in large quantity, easily up to five measures (mudu). "You, Kuluwa, bring me four silver trays!" "Alright, Titiy." Kuluwa went and brought the trays to her.

She filled all four trays to the brim, then stood up wiping her sweat. She told Kulu and Hafsu to take two trays each. Kulu took hers to the women inside the house, while Hafsu took hers to the men outside.

Grinning from ear to ear like someone who had struck gold, she looked at the women who were staring at her in shock, though none of them dared to speak a word. She said, "Eat up, enjoy yourselves, and pray for Gwamma, the mother of Isuhulle and Abu."

She reached out and pulled the heavy pot off the fire, feeling none of the burning heat it carried.

She dragged a small stool and sat down. Looking at Hafsu and the others, she said, "You guys come and let's eat our share!" Kulu looked at the rice, which was already half-gone from the pot, but out of sheer fear and knowledge of Titiy’s eccentricities, no one dared to utter a word.

They walked over and started digging in. The women in the courtyard stared at them continuously, but nobody could speak; you crossed paths with Titiy's "djinns" at your own peril.

At first, Kulu and her friends ate with great relish until they were full, then they left Titiy to it. And truly, once she bowed her head down, she didn't raise it until every single grain of rice in the pot was completely gone!

She stood up, licking her lips like a witch. Right then, the women of the house became even more convinced that Titiy’s djinns were notoriously powerful.

She put on her shoes and hijab, then looked at Abu and said, "Abu..." With her mouth trembling, Abu replied, "Yes, Titiy?" "King Gangash, who rules the djinns of the Central South, says he sends his condolences. And if you ever wish to see Gwamma, just let me know. I myself will personally guide you up to Jannati to see her spirit."

"No, no, Titiy! Whoever is dead is dead. Why look for complications? We will just meet in the hereafter!" She finished her speech with wide, terrified eyes. Titiy suppressed her laughter and said, "Alright then." She looked at the young children and women standing in the middle of the courtyard and said, "Prepare yourselves, the Prince of Jannati is coming to pay a visit with a retinue of seventy million servants!"

Immediately, the women in the courtyard began a desperate stampede for their lives. Some didn’t even bother to pick up their shoes! Among those fleeing was Abu.

Even the men sitting outside started sprinting for safety, while others asked what was happening. Luba came running past and shouted, "Titiy’s djinns are coming to pay a visit! And they are bringing an army of seventy million servants!"

Instantly, people began fleeing in absolute panic. In less than two minutes, every single mourner at the funeral had completely scattered!

Titiy and her companions came out, laughing uncontrollably.

As they walked, Titiy looked at them and said, "It’s time for me to expand my 'medicine' business so it can be more expensive." Hearing this, Kulu beamed with delight because she knew they would make a lot of money.

"So, what should we add?" Hafsu asked, looking at Titiy. Titiy laughed so hard she held her stomach and muttered, "By oath, we are going to add monkey bread fruit (tauraruwa), long bean/pods (dogon yaro), and cow horns! And it will be a cure for ulcers/stew-stomach issues." "Cow horns too, Titiy?" Kulu asked, her eyes wide with shock. "Yes, of course! They are pounded into powder." Hafsu quickly added, "By oath, we should also add acacia tree seeds (yayan bagaruwa) and bean chaff from tofu (waken awara)." Titiy gave her a disdainful look.

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With a furious stance, she placed her hands on her waist and shook her body. "Well, by oath, come what may, a thousand times over, nothing will stop me from mixing this piles medicine!" "Well, alright, whatever you say goes. Isn't that right, Kulu?" Hafsu quickly backed her up, seeing how Titiy had tightened her face, waiting for the slightest trigger. "Of course, let’s go make the medicine."

With that, they set off on their errand. Upon arriving, Kulu climbed up and plucked mango leaves while Hafsu gathered wild fruits. Walking and chatting, they passed by the path where cattle usually walked when returning from grazing.

Titiy walked straight to a spot where she saw a dry cow bone. She reached down and picked it up; Kulu opened a black plastic bag and dropped it inside.

They went straight to Malam's house. Inna was sitting in the courtyard washing Malam's clothes. Titiy hung up her medicinal ingredients to dry and walked into Malam's room, finding him absent, though the room was unlocked. She walked straight to his bed, and her eyes landed on a covered jar (samira).

She reached out and opened it; the honey inside gleamed, tempting her. She sat down and pulled the honey container closer. Seeing different layers inside, she scooped some and brought it to her mouth. Closing her eyes with delight, she scooped and drank again. After about ten spoonfuls, she covered the container.

Just as she was trying to get up, she sat back down and said, "By oath, let me add about fifteen more!" From five spoonfuls, she ended up licking the entire jar clean, wiping it with her hand until it looked washed.

She walked outside, rubbing her belly, and looked at Inna, who was still busy washing. "Hey Inna, didn't you see me? Out of sheer wickedness, you weren't even going to offer me food?"

Inna looked at her because ever since Titiy entered the house, she had been praying for her to leave before she caused a disaster, especially since she couldn't even afford to hurl insults at her anymore. After all, Malam himself had instructed them to tread carefully around Titiy, who was supposedly backed by the King of the Western-Central Djinns.

"Please have mercy, Titiy, only Malam's food is left." Titiy gave her a three-quarters warning look and said, "By oath, either you bring out that food of yours and Malam's for me, or from today you stop eating food entirely!"

Before she could even close her mouth, Inna let out a choking gasp, hurried into her room, and emerged holding Malam's food flask and a large bowl containing her own food and her children's.

She slammed it down in front of Titiy, who stood glaring at her with contempt. "Hey, wicked woman! If you hadn't brought it out, by a thousand curses, you and eating food would only be something you watched others do!"

Inna said nothing, returning silently to her washing. "Hey Hafsu, come and eat!" Kulu and Hafsu, who were sitting in the courtyard, rushed over with bright smiles because they were already hungry.

They began devouring the food like starving beasts. Inna sat watching them, tears of deep anguish filling her eyes. That was the only food she had for herself, yet Titiy ate it all, leaving Inna with nothing to drink except fura later at night.

Mama then walked into the house with greetings on her lips, but froze dead in the middle of the courtyard upon seeing Titiy. Truthfully, if she had known Titiy was there, she would never have stepped foot inside until Titiy left.

"Hey, mother of Musa! Go right now into your room and bring out the meat you hid under your bed, which you sneak out to eat at midnight with your son!" Mama stood frozen and bewildered; honestly, nobody else knew she had meat under her bed except her, because even her son Musa only got small portions.

"Hey, mother of Musa, are you going to bring out the meat, or should I go get it myself?" "No, no, Titiy!" Mama said, rushing into her room. Inna watched her with a smile born of bitter amusement, thinking to herself, 'If you don't sweep the mosque, you sweep the market. Since we live in the same house and you always begrudge me even a morsel, suffer!'

Mama came out of her room carrying the meat packed inside a large jar (samira). The chickens she had secretly bought for herself had accumulated because the household was small; she had instructed her younger sister and niece to fry them for her.

She opened the jar, looking at the meat as if she were about to burst into tears. "May Allah never bless Indo for giving birth to this torment and plague who died in town and left us with this terror!"

"By oath, I am not giving you all of it!" She pulled out a plastic bag, removed two breasts and a thigh, hid them among her clothes, and brought out the rest of the jar. "Hey, mother of Musa, your wickedness and watery wickedness are too much! Now go back and bring the ones you packed into the bag. And instead of cursing me while eating meat, you'll just watch others eat!"

With her heart pounding, Mama said, "For God's sake, have mercy, Titiy. Musa eats some of it, but let me bring it to you."

She returned to her room with a broken body and brought the rest. They devoured the chicken completely and drank water. Titiy declared, "Now that you are full, come and start pounding the medicine!" Inna and Mama sat watching as Titiy used a wooden mortar while Kulu pounded it almost to a fine powder, before throwing in the cow bone to be pounded together.

Mama looked at Inna, and Inna looked at Mama, keeping their mouths tightly shut. "Now, Inna and mother of Musa, bring out your money for the medicine! Because this is a grand cure for piles and hemorrhoids (basir da amosari). Therefore, by oath, you must buy it, because it won't do for me to sell medicine while Malam wakes up with a cold infection—so bring me your money! I’ve made it easy for you: each of you must bring five sacks of money!"

Mama got up, brought the money, and handed it over while Titiy snatched it. "Hey Inna, where is your money?" Inna put on a pitiful, crying face and said, "I don't have money, Titiy." "Well, alright then! I will give it to you on credit, and when I make a new medicine, you will combine the payment for both and give it to me!" "Alright, Titiy," Inna said as if about to cry. By God, even though she had watched this torturous medicine being pounded right before her eyes, she would never drink it—especially seeing cow dung and bones mixed into it!

As for the mortar used for pounding, she felt she would never be able to use it again anytime soon.

Once they finished pounding the medicine, Hafsu sieved it. Kulu asked, "Titiy, do we have nylon bags to pack the medicine?" "Goodness me, I swear, without bags packaging it will be impossible! Mother of Musa, hey, mother of Musa!" "I am here, Titiy!" Mama replied hastily, emerging from the restroom. "Bring me a white nylon bag." Mama went into the room and brought out the cellophane wrapper she used for packaging palm oil and peanut cakes (kuli-kuli).

They packed the medicine tightly; Titiy handed Inna and Mama one bag each, Kulu took the rest, and off they went to hawk it. There wasn't a single house they entered where people didn't buy it. In no time, the medicine was completely sold out. She collected clear cash totaling ten thousand naira!

She gave Kulu and Hafsu two thousand naira each, and kept six thousand for herself.

As they walked strutting proudly, Titiy led the way, swaggering heavily.

Audu came out from his farm on the outskirts of town, walking with a large pot of sour milk (nono) that he had bought to take home.

Titiy’s eyes landed on Audu’s pot of nono, and instantly her face broke into a wide grin, licking her lips like an old hyena preparing to attack. "Aha! Audu, good afternoon!" Titiy called out, heading straight toward him. Audu’s heart skipped a beat as he stepped back slightly, trying to hide the pot of nono behind his back.

"Ah, Titiy, good afternoon," Audu stammered with a forced smile. Titiy stopped, placed her hands on her hips, and said, "Everything is fine, Audu, except that King Gangash sent me just now to tell you that this nono in your hand has witchcraft spells cast all over it!

And if you take it home and your family drinks it, they will all turn into witches!" Audu's eyes popped out in terror as he gasped, "Subhanallah! So what should I do, Titiy?" Titiy snatched the pot of nono quickly and said, "Don't worry, Audu, you know I am your helper. I will take it to my house, seal it with protective prayers, and then Kulu and I will drink the nono to terrify the witches who planted this spell!"

Trembling all over, Audu said, "Alright, Titiy, thank you, may Allah bless you." He turned around, shaking, left her the pot of nono, and walked away reciting prayers. Titiy sat down, opened the pot of nono, looked at Kulu and the rest, and said, "Quickly bring cups, by oath today we are going to drink delicious nono!" In no time, they shared out the nono, drank it down to the last drop, left the empty pot there, and walked away.

She visited every household to announce that later that night they would all go to the village square (dan’dali). After the Isha prayer, Titiy took a bath, brought out her makeup kit, and began applying her insane, chaotic makeup.

Once she finished, she wore a blouse and wrapper, put on her shoes, and stepped outside. Kandala called out to her to come eat food, but Titiy raised her voice and shouted, "Wait until I return, Kandala!" "Alright then, Titiy, safe journey," Kandala muttered as she retreated into her room.

Along the way, she met up with Hafsu and they set off. From a distance, they could see youths and young women romancing and courting. Titiy put her hands on her hips and said, "You girls should really find boyfriends and get married already, so I can regularly visit your houses to eat free food! What do you think?" Hafsu said, "Yes, by God, Titiy! You see, I actually fancy Isuhulle the rich one."

Kulu said, "Honestly, Titiy, I want to get married right alongside you whenever you decide. Besides, no one has ever told us they love us." "Well, who on earth said I am getting married?! By oath, even if I marry, I will marry a rich man from the city!"

Hafsu beamed with broad smiles and said, "That's wonderful, then we'll be visiting your house constantly to eat pepper soup and city bread!" With such conversations, they finally reached the village square. Titiy strode right into the center of the dancing arena and started throwing wild, erratic limbs around, calling it dancing. The onlookers burst into laughter, whispering and poking fun at her. When she finally grew tired of dancing, they headed back home. On the way, she ran into Zulai Mai Fara (the popcorn/locust bean cake seller). She reached out, grabbed five balls of fara, and told her to add a blessing. Zulai walked away cursing under her breath (Allah ya isa).

Titiy gave Kulu and Hafsu one each and ate the rest herself. When they reached the corner where each branched off toward her own home, they bade Titiy goodnight and parted ways.

Upon entering her house, she locked the door, grabbed a plastic kettle (buta), went into the bathroom to urinate, and came out humming small tunes. She walked over to the kitchen area, picked up the food warmer where Kandala had kept her meal, sat down, devoured everything completely, drank water, and went into her room. She stripped down to just her tiny shorts, climbed onto the bed, and lay down right beside Kandala, whose sleep was already profound. Kandala was snoring like a slaughtered bull, and it wasn't long before sleep carried Titiy away as well.

Abuja:

They were all sitting together in the living room, each busy with their own device. Bilal sat close to Mom, who was dressed in nightwear, holding an English storybook, reading it with a soft smile.

"Assalamu alaikum." The greeting drew their attention to the door as it swung open. Zee and Amnah walked in, each dragging a travel trolley. Only Mom and Bilal responded to the greeting.

"Amnah, you guys are back, come in!" Mom said with a smile. They walked further into the lounge and took their seats. Zee said, "Good afternoon, Mom." "Good afternoon, Zainab. How is your mother?" "She is fine, she sends her regards." "I receive them." "Azumi! Azumi!" "Yes, Madam, I am here."

"Take Zainab and her friend's luggage upstairs." "Alright, Madam." Azumi dragged the suitcases and headed toward the guest room located on the first floor.

"Captain, good afternoon. How is Yah Zait, good day?" Zee and Amnah greeted them with seductive, honeyed, alluring voices. However, neither of the men looked in their direction, let alone granting them the courtesy of a reply.

Mom stood up and went upstairs. Bilal adjusted his seat, continuing his mobile game. "Hey Bey," Amnah said, looking at him. Bilal glanced up briefly and gave a curt "Hello."

He stood up, stretched lazily, and walked over to Captain. He said, "Second bro, please can I go to the supermarket now and come right back?" He finished his speech with pleading, watery eyes like a tiny child.

Captain completely ignored him as if no living creature near him was speaking. Bilal pouted, sat down beside Captain, grabbed his muscular arm, and stared into his fiercely unyielding, handsome face.

"Pleaseeeee!" he said again, tears welling up in his eyes. Colonel Zait let out an irritated hiss and stood up, heading upstairs—knowing that if he stayed any longer, his heart might literally explode from sheer annoyance at the ridiculous, childish pampering Bilal received, behaving like anything but a grown man or a soldier of soldiers.

Had it not been for the fact that he was also a soldier, his own indulgence in laziness and fragility might have made him run away and abandon duty.

Zee stared at Colonel Zait like an old witch. As he walked past her exact spot, he raised his heavy-lidded eyes, which he had felt boring into him since earlier.

And bang! His eyes locked straight with Zee's. She sat with her mouth wide open, staring at him like an ancient witch. He averted his gaze, continued up the stairs, and muttered an angry hiss under his breath.

"Yaya..." "Okay, you can go, but don't you dare let an hour pass without you being back in this house," Captain said without looking up from his phone screen.

Bilal let out a leap of joy and planted a kiss on his cheek. Captain looked up at him while Bilal scurried away with a light jog. Captain shook his head, a faint smile touching his lips. Everyone rose; some headed out, while others went upstairs.

Zee looked at Amnah and let out a small hiss. "I swear, Yaya Zait walked right past me, but did he even deign to look our way? As if we aren't even blood to them!"

Amnah rested her chin on her hand in despair and said, "Honestly, whether it's Bilal or Captain, whoever I can get is fine by me." "What would you even do with a kid like Bilal when there are real men out there?" "Hmm, you don't understand. He is handsome, and let me tell you, he is much more easygoing than the others."

"Well, look, every single one of them suffers from extreme arrogance and stubborn taciturnity. But Bilal is milder than the rest." "You're right," Zee said, nodding thoughtfully. "I swear, I am starving," Amnah declared, standing up. "Me too."

Zee echoed, standing up as well. They headed down the corridor leading to the kitchen. It was a massive kitchen of staggering beauty, looking less like a kitchen and more like a luxury showcase.

Mama Azumi was standing in front of the glass gas cooker, wiping it down to reduce her workload as she always did. She usually cleaned up everything used the previous night, along with the downstairs and upstairs lounges. In the mornings, she only helped the other maids clean the bedrooms.

"Hey!" Zee snapped, pulling out one of the chairs surrounding a long dining island in the corner of the kitchen. Azumi hurried over to her. With trembling lips, she said, "I am here, Your Highness." Zee let out a petty hiss, eyeing her with utter contempt.

Zee had zero manners or respect for elders, especially the poor. That was why even the household staff dreaded her—Amnah was somewhat better. As for Zee, her supreme arrogance wouldn't even allow her to open her mouth to speak to the servants unless she was issuing commands or tasks.

"You hypocrite! When I called you just now like a mindless fool, you sat there ignoring me? That’s the flaw of the poor—they never know how to appreciate a bit of luxury!"

"Get up right now and fix us some food, damn it, woman! And I swear you better hurry before you ruin my mood." Even after she finished speaking, Baba Azumi didn't say a word.

Instead, she lowered her gaze as tears welled up in her eyes. In all her life, she had never been spoken to with such demeaning cruelty.

With a heavy heart, she stood up and went to work. She brought out stew ingredients and fish from the fridge, working with bitter anguish until she finished preparing spaghetti with fish and spices. She served it onto a platter and brought it to them.

She returned for bottled water and drinks, then turned to leave the kitchen when Zee called out again. "Hey, you village bumpkin! Do you mean to say we are the ones supposed to clear away our own food plates?!"

"No, Your Highness, please forgive me," Baba Azumi said, hurrying back to serve them. Only then was she able to escape, retreating to her quarters with thoughts of Zee’s incredible wickedness echoing in her mind. Once they finished eating, they headed upstairs, each retreating to the guest room where their luggage had been placed.

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She sat in front of her vanity mirror, slathering on cosmetics. She caked her face with heavy foundation, applying face powder thick enough to tile a floor. Tilting her chin up, she smeared bright red lipstick across her lips and eyelids, instantly transforming herself to look like a ravaging hyena. Just like that, Titiy applied her makeup, looking completely insane to the rest of the village.

She held up a small hand mirror, admired herself after finishing her makeup, pouted her lips, and burst into mocking laughter. "By oath, my husband has struck gold! Look at this beauty!"

Kandala beamed and said, "Why, you look just like the queen of beauty herself, Titiy!" Titiy pouted, glaring at her, and snapped, "Haba Kandala, how can you compare yourself to me? Look at your teeth—by oath, they look just like the hyena's teeth used by circus performers!"

2. Summary of the Text

This excerpt from 

Disastrous Love (by maman shakur) highlights contrasting scenes of absurd village chaos and high-society domestic drama:

• The Funeral Chaos: Titiy, accompanied by Kulu and Hafsu, crashes a funeral at Isuhulle's house. Using her theatrical personality and fake weeping, she manipulates the mourners, seizes a massive pot of jollof rice meant for the funeral guests, gorges herself with her cohorts, and terrorizes the villagers by claiming her "djinn associates" (led by King Gangash) are coming with an army of 70 million servants—causing everyone to flee in absolute panic.
• The Fake Medicine Scam: Titiy expands her fraudulent local medicine business, adding bizarre, disgusting ingredients like cow bones, mango leaves, and acacia seeds. She forces Inna and Mama to buy her concoctions under intimidation, raiding their private food stores (stealing Inna's meals and Mama's hidden chicken) and successfully selling out her fake cure-all tonic for a tidy profit.
• Audu's Nono Extortion: Titiy intercepts a villager named Audu carrying a pot of sour milk (nono), tricks him into believing it is cursed by witchcraft, and steals it to consume with her friends.
• Village Square Nightlife: Titiy attends the local village square (dan'dali) in chaotic, hideous makeup, mocking others while dreaming of marrying a rich city man.
• Abuja High Society Shift: The narrative cuts to Abuja, contrasting Titiy's rural madness with the affluent, cold, and tense atmosphere in a wealthy military/upper-class home. Zee and Amnah arrive as guests, exhibiting extreme entitlement and treating the elderly housekeeper, Baba Azumi, with vile disrespect and classism, while the male officers (Captain and Colonel Zait) remain aloof and distant.

3. Description of Analytics, Comments, and Conclusions

Analytics (Thematic & Structural Breakdown):

• Character Dynamics & Contrast: The text uses a stark dual setting (rural village vs. urban Abuja) to analyze human behavior. Titiy represents tyrannical eccentricity, manipulation, and shameless exploitation driven by poverty and cunning. Conversely, Zee represents modern, urban entitlement, weaponized classism, and cruelty toward the underprivileged (Baba Azumi).
• Satire of Traditional Superstition: The author heavily satirizes how easily rural populations are manipulated through fear of the supernatural (djinns, witchcraft, curses). Titiy weaponizes psychological intimidation to steal food, property, and money without physical violence.
• Pacing and Tone Shift: The narrative shifts abruptly from low-brow, slapstick village comedy ( outrageous antics, eating habits, and fake spiritual threats) to high-tension, cold domestic drama in Abuja (class snobbery, emotional detachment among military elites).

Comments:

• Titiy’s Characterization: Tit is an exceptionally vivid, chaotic anti-heroine. She embodies dark comedy—she is brazen, greedy, unapologetically crude, yet endlessly entertaining due to her complete lack of shame. Her exploitation of Inna and Mama highlights the oppressive power dynamics within traditional households where eccentric personalities manage to hijack domestic peace.
• Social Commentary: Through characters like Zee, the novel critiques how wealth and social status breed a profound lack of empathy. Zee’s verbal abuse of Baba Azumi mirrors Titiy’s physical and psychological bullying of Inna and Mama, proving that cruelty transcends social class—it merely wears different clothes in the village versus the city.

Conclusion:

This excerpt serves as a rich character and cultural study within contemporary Hausa popular literature (Littattafan Soyayya/Rayuwa). It successfully balances biting satire, dark humor, and social critique. While Titiy’s absurd escapades provide comic relief through sheer chaos, the underlying themes expose the vulnerabilities of communities plagued by superstition, domestic oppression, and class arrogance.